Episodes 32, 33, & 34: Nadia's Fears
by Jon Turner
Summary: Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water : Nadia directs the Gratan toward Tartessos. However, her reluctance to reveal her secret damages her relationship with Jean. Grandis intervenes. An alternate route for episodes 32 thru 34.


_**Episodes 32-34: Nadia's Fears**_

_A Nadia: Secret of Blue Water Fanfic by Jon Turner_

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_Disclaimer: _Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water_ is the property of Toho/SogoVision/NHK, and ADV Films. I am responsible simply for this story._

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_A word of note about this fanfic: This is set just after the _Gratan_ escapes the Garfish at the beginning of Episode 32 in the series. The remainder of this story is meant to replace the African and music video episodes (32-34), as they were completely out of tone and character in the same way that the Lincoln Island episodes were. If you've always wondered about skipping past this pointless side story and replacing it with something less asinine, this is my attempt. I hope you enjoy it._

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Nadia and the others sighed in relief. The _Gratan_ was airborne, headed for the African continent. Better yet, the companions had escaped from their former island home just before it sank into the sea. It wasn't even an island at all; it was, rather, a submerged satellite called _Red Noah_. Just as they had left, a _Garfish_ had been seen crossing through the water below. But now it had vanished. Perhaps it was because Sanson had indeed "sunk it with a single shot," or so he boasted. Hanson speculated that it was merely following _Red Noah_. Whatever the reason, they were glad to be out of danger... for now.

Just at that moment, however, Nadia froze and fell into a trance. Jean shuddered--this was just like what had happened when he and Nadia were exploring the strange high-tech factory beneath _Red Noah_.

Seconds later, the Blue Water began to shimmer, and then emit a beam of aqua-colored light. It was pinpointing a direction to the east through the sky. Then, Nadia spoke in an emotionless monotone. "Follow the light of the Blue Water. It will guide you across the Indian Ocean to the mountains of Central Africa. There you shall find my homeland, the long lost kingdom of Tartessos."

Jean and the others stared at Nadia, stunned. They didn't know that the mysterious entity aboard _Red Noah_ who captured Nadia was controlling her mind, if only for a brief moment, to lead them to their destination.

"Nadia, what are you saying?!" Jean asked.

"Just follow the light of the Blue Water," Nadia replied, in the same emotionless voice.

Jean couldn't understand why Nadia was telling them all this, but somehow he knew that it was important. "You heard her!" he shouted to Grandis, Sanson, and Hanson.

The trio raced toward the _Gratan_ cockpit. Grabbing the steering wheel, Sanson turned the tank's position to the right until the vessel was in perfect alignment with the beam from Nadia's Blue Water. Switching to auto-pilot, Hanson checked their coordinates "If we continue on this route, we should hit the African mountains in less than two days!"

Seconds later, the light from Nadia's Blue Water faded, and she collapsed, unconscious to the floor. Jean caught her just before she hit the floor. "Nadia, are you all right?! Speak to me!"

Nadia's eyes opened slowly. She was staring into Jean's concerned face. Then Nadia saw that Jean was holding her. Uncomfortable, she broke away from him. "Jean, what are you doing?" she asked, somewhat annoyed.

Jean nervously answered, "We… we did as you said, Nadia. We're heading southeast, toward Tartessos. We're following the light from the Blue Water!"

At this, Nadia's exasperated face turned gloomy. She didn't seem too thrilled to hear that. "Oh, I see," she spoke emotionlessly.

The tone of detachment in her voice was enough to make Jean wonder if something had happened while they were separated on _Red Noah_. "What is it?" he asked gently, "Are you feeling okay?"

Nadia knew that Jean was concerned, but she didn't want to talk about it. "It's nothing," she replied quickly. "I'm fine, Jean." To be polite, Nadia gently touched his cheek. Then she turned and quietly strode to the railing.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Jean asked, still staring after her.

As the night fell, Nadia tossed and turned in her sleep. She dreamed that she was racing through a void of emptiness… until something loomed in the distance ahead of her. Someone familiar. Someone frightening.

A grip of terror clutched her soul.

Nadia had come face to face with a likeness of herself. Only she was dressed in a dark Neo-Atlantean costume with a golden headdress.

"What is this?" Nadia asked.

In an ominous, but strangely familiar voice, the figure replied, _"YOU KNOW WHO I AM."_

Nadia drew back.

"_I AM THE VERY ESSENCE THAT DWELLS WITHIN YOUR SOUL. I REPRESENT YOUR HATRED, YOUR MISERY, YOUR SORROW, YOUR FATE,"_ the figure continued.

"This can't be," Nadia thought.

"_IT IS YOUR DESTINY TO GUIDE THE SOULS OF ATLANTIS BACK TO THEIR RESTING PLACE. YOU ARE THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF NEO-ATLANTIS."_

"No! Don't say that! I don't want to hear those evil words!" Nadia screamed. It was bad enough that _Red Noah_ had intoned those words to her when she was imprisoned, but hearing them again was even more painful.

"_YOU CANNOT DENY IT. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FATE EVER SINCE YOU WERE BORN."_

"I won't surrender myself to such a horrible fate!" cried Nadia. "I will escape, with my friends!"

The apparition let out a low chuckle. _"FRIENDS? YOU MEAN THAT IDIOTIC BOY NAMED JEAN?"_

Nadia gasped. "Leave him out of this!"

"_AS LONG AS YOU STAY WITH HIM, YOU ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. HE WILL NEVER BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT A HUMAN BEING. HE WILL BETRAY YOU... AS WILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS."_

"It's not true! Jean means everything to me! He saved my life! He… he wants to take me to the place where I was born! I…"

"_YOU CARE FOR HIM?"_ The evil figure of Nadia smiled wickedly. _"HOW FOOLISH. AN ALIEN LIKE YOU COULD NEVER CO-EXIST WITH SUCH A BOY, OR ANY OTHER HUMANS. YOU ARE DESTINED TO RULE THIS EARTH."_

"Shut up! I don't want to hear anymore!"

"_WHY HAVE YOU GROWN SO ATTACHED TO THAT BOY? AFTER ALL, YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT NO ONE COULD BE TRUSTED, RIGHT?"_

"But that… that can't be…."

"_YOU AND JEAN CAN NEVER BE TOGETHER. YOU ARE AN ALIEN. HE WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU IF HE FINDS OUT. HE WILL RUN AWAY FROM YOU."_

This was too much for Nadia to stand. If Jean were to abandon her should he find out who she really was, and her terrible destiny, then...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nadia's scream echoed through the _Gratan_'s walls. Jean was the first to hear it. The alarm bell sounded in his head. Nadia was in trouble! And once again it was his duty to help her. Without wasting a second, he raced to her bedroom. "What's wrong?" he asked, frantic. "What is it?"

Nadia, panting uncontrollably, stared at Jean's worried eyes. _He's come for me!_, she thought. But then she remembered her nightmare. Instantly, her joy dissolved. "What are you doing in my room? Go away!" she snapped impulsively.

Jean was taken aback by her sudden response. "I was just worried about you," he explained, "I heard you screaming and thought you needed me."

"Well, I don't, so please just leave me alone!" Nadia responded in the same angry and fearful tone of voice.

"Nadia, why are you acting this way?" Jean asked.

"I SAID, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Nadia exploded, now beginning to cry. "I hate you and I do not want to talk to you anymore! Now just go away! Do you hear me?! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Jean lowered his head. He knew that whenever Nadia behaved like this, that there was no point in reasoning with her. Quietly, he turned and walked away.

Shortly after Jean had left, Nadia calmed down. Her anger was gone, but now she was feeling a tinge of regret. Why did she send him away? She really would have preferred it if he had stayed with her. Half-heartedly, Nadia glanced around, muttering softly, "Wait, Jean, please come back. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..." But it was no use. Jean had already left. Nadia sank into the bed with tears; she had truly driven her most precious treasure away after all.

The following day, Nadia sat on the railing of the _Gratan_ as it passed over the coast of Africa. She felt awful for treating Jean so hideously last night, but she still didn't want to talk about what she had learned from _Red Noah_. Yet how could she speak to him _or_ anybody now? Nadia could think of nothing else. All that was on her mind was how lonely she was.

If Nadia hadn't been so gloomy, she might have seen Jean staring at her from nearby. What was going on? Why was Nadia acting so strangely? He had to find out. But how could he speak to her if she was acting so cold? Finally, Jean decided there was only one solution to this dilemma. He had to ask for help.

"NADIA SAID WHAT??!!!" Grandis, Sanson, and Hanson shouted at the same time.

"Yeah, it's true," Jean finished telling the trio about what had happened last night, "Now she won't even talk to me or anyone. What did I do wrong?"

Grandis shook her head. "She has quite a funny way of showing gratitude."

Sanson was angry at Nadia, "How could she say such a heartless thing? Especially after all that you've done for her?!"

Hanson agreed, "That's just so cruel."

Ayerton, sitting off to the side with a book in hand, decided to chime in. "It just goes to prove that there are two kinds of humans in this world: the selfish and the self-less."

"JUST BUTT OUT!" Grandis, Sanson, and Hanson screamed at the arrogant Ayerton.

"This time Nadia has gone too far! I'll just have to have a little chat with her," Grandis ranted.

Just as she was about to march off, Jean tugged on her shoulder. "Miss Granva, what should _I_ do?" he asked.

Before Grandis could answer, Sanson pulled Jean aside. "Listen, Jean. You need a real gentleman's advice. I've had years of experience in dealing with women, and I think I know just what you have to do."

"What is it?" asked Jean, puzzled.

"Don't hold back! You must be bold, aggressive! Make your move!" Sanson explained, getting rather melodramatic all the while. "You've got to give it everything you've got to break down that girl's impenetrable wall of Jericho!" Settling down, Sanson leaned over at Jean with a sly grin, "Now then, have you ever considered giving Nadia flowers?"

Hanson timidly spoke up. "You might want to reconsider that, Jean. I once gave some to Miss Electra, and we all know how that turned out, don't we?"

"Yeah, well, it didn't work out well for me, either," sighed Jean, remembering all too well how Nadia had very coldly turned down some artificial flowers he once tried to give her as a present.

"Listen," Hanson whispered. "Girls go nuts for guys with brains. Why don't you build an invention?"

"What good will that do?" asked Jean. "No matter what I build, Nadia always says the same thing: 'Jean, you're a genius; no, you're not, your inventions always fail.'" Then Jean had another thought, "I could take her flying again." His spirits deflated again. "But we already _are_ flying."

Sanson pulled Jean back, "There's more to impressing women than science and intelligence. Why don't you try... a letter!"

"A letter?" asked Jean.

"Yes. Love letters are an effective way to move women; so much so, it makes them drop their defenses. Pour out all your feelings to Nadia in a letter--the kind that will m-m-m-melt even the iciest of hearts!"

Hanson grabbed Jean's shoulder. "Girls don't take stuff like that too seriously."

"And just what is wrong with my advice?" Sanson asked, insulted by Hanson's remark.

"One time Miss Grandis held a special party at her mansion. A pretty maid caught my eye, so I dropped her a letter. And she turned it down flat!" Hanson ended his recollection in tears.

"She was probably just a snooty lass who could care less about guys with their noses in books and gadgets all the time!" Sanson suggested.

"Not every woman is like that!" Hanson shouted back, "And besides, your 'romantic' ideas are just confusing the boy!"

"Hanson, the kid's heart has been broken!" protested Sanson, "Your scientific genius is simply not enough to make things any better!"

By this time, Grandis was completely fed up with Sanson and Hanson's stupidity. In frustrated anger she exploded at them, "YOU NEVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN ANYWAY, SO JUST SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF THIS!"

"Yes, Miss Granva!" Sanson and Hanson dutifully replied, and backed away.

Grandis then leaned over to Jean. "All right, let's get this straight. You love Nadia, you want _her_ love, but you feel she refuses to treat you like the treasure that you are."

"Well, I… I guess so," replied Jean modestly.

"So, why don't you let her know that?" Grandis suggested. "If you want Nadia to be aware of your feelings, then just tell her straight out."

"How?"

"It's simple, Jean. All you have to do is…" Grandis leaned into Jean's ear and whispered.

When she had finished, Jean asked, "But how will it work if Nadia won't believe me?"

"I'm going to speak with her right now," Grandis answered. "All you have to do is sort your feelings for Nadia together, and, when the right time comes, confess!"

Grandis found Nadia still sitting in isolation on the _Gratan_'s railing. "You have a rather lonely way about you today, don't you, Nadia?" she asked.

Nadia barely looked up at Grandis. "No one needs me."

"So sure are you?" Grandis asked, "Just earlier today Jean was telling me how much he was missing you."

Nadia sighed sadly. "He means nothing to me."

"Oh really?" Grandis asked, "You seem pretty lonely when you're not with him."

Nadia immediately shot Grandis an angry look, "No, it's nothing like that at all!"

Grandis tried another approach. "Nadia, you should consider yourself very fortunate that you have Jean in your life. If it weren't for him, you'd still be a slave at that miserable circus!"

"That's none of your business!" Nadia stated defiantly.

"He loves you, Nadia." Grandis went on.

Nadia looked up at Grandis, stunned.

"Unfortunately, now he feels, how shall we say, unloved. That's because someone broke his heart last night." Grandis continued.

Nadia's expression changed from surprise to intense fury. "Who? Who dared to hurt Jean?"

Grandis answered quietly, "I'm afraid you already know the answer to that question."

"Wha--?" Nadia stopped. She couldn't deny it. Grandis had hit the nail on the head.

Nadia lowered her head shamefully, "Yes, it's true," she admitted, "I acted selfishly to him last night. He came to see me, and I sent him away. He has done so many wonderful things for me, and all I've done is think of myself. Why can't I show him how much he means..." Nadia stopped. It was too much for her to say anymore.

After a brief pause, Grandis leaned over to Nadia. "You love Jean, don't you?"

Nadia couldn't say it, but the look of regret in her eyes was enough for Grandis to figure it out.

"Then why did you act the way you did to him last night?"

At first Nadia didn't respond, but finally she replied, "I don't know. I guess… I guess I was just a little scared that I… I was going to lose him, and… I… I didn't want it to come true."

"Well, you can't be too sure about that unless you have proof." Grandis reminded her.

Nadia lowered her head. Then another thought entered her mind, and she blurted out, "What if Jean really _does_ abandon me? I wouldn't blame him."

"So he really means that much to you?" Grandis asked.

"Well, I…" Nadia felt so guilty she couldn't speak.

"You know, Nadia, if you really love Jean, you might want to consider expressing yourself to him. You'll regret it if you miss your chance." Grandis suggested.

"But how can I? What if he…?" Nadia asked.

"Just speak from your heart," Grandis replied. "You might want to tell him before it's too late; you'll lose his love if you don't do anything to return it."

Nadia sighed. She knew that Grandis was right.

Later that night, Nadia decided to seek out Jean. She found him sitting in his room, his nose in a book.

"Um, Jean…" Nadia said softly.

Jean did not respond.

"Look," Nadia continued, "I'm sorry about the way I acted around you last night. And… I really miss you talking to me. Can you ever forgive me?"

Jean's first impulse would have been to accept her apology in an instant as he always had, but, remembering what Grandis had told him, he replied, "I know you don't mean to be so cruel, but why do you always say such mean things to me?"

Nadia lowered her head.

"All I've ever really wanted," Jean continued, "was to be a part of your life, Nadia. I… I… I loved you ever since we first met at the tower."

Nadia stared up at Jean. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes," Jean answered. "But I wonder if it's all been for nothing. I can't just smile back and play the fool. It's really breaking my heart."

Tears began to well in Nadia's eyes.

"When you sent me away last night, I almost wondered if I made a mistake in risking my life to save you."

This, then, was Nadia's breaking point. She had hurt Jean, just as Grandis had said. Bursting into uncontrollable sobs, she buried her face in Jean's shirt.

Jean wondered if he had gone too far in stating how he felt. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

After a moment, Nadia stared up at Jean, still teary-eyed. "No, Jean, I deserved it," she sniffled. "I don't know why I've said such horrible things to you. But that's not how I truly feel. I... I've always trusted you, and I do appreciate everything you've done for me. Really, I do. It's just… it's just that sometimes it's so embarrassing and painful that I don't know how to act."

"I understand," Jean replied, "But I wish you could be honest with me like this more often. I figured we were close by now."

"I wish I could," Nadia answered, tears still streaming down her face. "But perhaps... perhaps I could try."

Generously, Jean dried her eyes with his sleeves. "So why did you send me away last night?" he asked. "When I stopped by, I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"That… that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Nadia stammered. "Something terrible happened when I was separated from you back on _Red Noah_, and… it scared me. So much so, I couldn't talk to you or anyone else. But now I realize that keeping secrets makes things worse."

_So _that's_ why she's been acting so strangely_, thought Jean. "Nadia..." he asked, "Can you tell me what happened?"

Nadia hesitated. She knew she had to tell Jean the truth; the question was, how could she do it? Nadia opened her mouth to answer, but... her own fear of losing Jean was too strong. Nothing came out.

"Go on," Jean encouraged her, "Don't be afraid. I promise I'll believe whatever you have to say."

Nadia looked at Jean again, "Do you mean that?"

"Cross my heart," Jean replied.

Even with that encouragement, it was still too painful for Nadia to find the right words. Finally, after a long silence, she stated, "I… I can't."

Jean looked very disappointed.

"I just can't talk about it right now," Nadia sighed sadly.

Jean lowered his head. "I guess I was fooling myself. Even after all this time, you still haven't learned to trust me, have you?"

"Oh, no!" Nadia protested, "It's not that at all. It's just that… well, I'd rather… um… I'll tell you when we get to Tartessos."

Jean gazed out the window. "We should be there by tomorrow," he commented.

At this, Nadia felt worried again. "I… I don't want to go to Tartessos anymore, Jean," replied Nadia.

"But why? I thought you wanted to return to your birthplace. That is what you told me, isn't it?"

"I know, but, I feel like… that if we keep going something awful will happen," said Nadia. "And... I especially don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nadia," said Jean, "I'd rather accompany you to your homeland and face whatever disaster will befall us."

"But what if I lose you?" Nadia asked.

"You won't," Jean assured her cheerfully, "I'll be with you no matter what. We all will. We promised you, didn't we?"

Nadia stared at Jean, not knowing what to do. But then she remembered Grandis's words, _"You know, Nadia, if you really love Jean, you might want to consider expressing yourself to him. You'll regret it if you miss your chance."_

Nadia now knew she wanted to take that chance. Whether she lost him or not, she had to let Jean know how important he was to her.

"Is something wrong?" Jean asked.

After a brief pause, Nadia said, "Jean, I… I want you to take off your glasses and close your eyes."

"Huh? Why should I?" asked Jean, puzzled.

"Just do it, Jean."

"Um… okay." Jean took off his glasses and squeezed his eyes shut. Nadia looked around to make sure no one else was watching. Then, she moved closer to Jean… and…. Nadia almost hesitated. She was very frightened about being so close to another, and had never expressed this kind of mutual affection. But if she didn't do it, there might never be another chance.

Resolved, Nadia put her arms around Jean's neck and kissed him. Passionately on the mouth. The kiss seemed to last for a while until their lips finally parted. Jean opened his eyes, completely shocked and speechless. Nadia seemed to be uncomfortable at first, but then a little smile creased across her face.

After a while, Jean found himself smiling back.

Their quiet moment was disrupted when Marie and Sanson, peering into the room, began to tease them: "Jean and Nadia sitting in a tree," they sang, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Both Nadia and Jean were quite embarrassed and whirled around to face them. Nadia, in particular, was quite annoyed. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

"Oh, don't mind us, _mademoiselle_!" Sanson crooned, "We were just wondering how you two were getting along."

Marie giggled, "So you've finally confessed your feelings for Jean, huh, Nadia?"

Nadia was so appalled that she didn't know what to say. Turning back to Jean, she blurted out, "I'm… I'm so sorry, Jean! I shouldn't have."

Jean shook his head with a smile. "No, I don't mind at all."

Hearing this, Nadia burst out laughing. Somehow, she didn't seem to mind either.

As night fell, Jean was asleep on the floor when Nadia approached. She hesitated, then, certain that no one was watching, she lay next to him. Somewhat impulsively, she placed her hands on his shoulders.

The force of her grasp was so strong that Jean popped his eyes open. Glancing behind to see who was holding onto him, his face turned a shade of beet red. Somewhat nervously, he tried to speak, "Um, N-Nadia...?"

But Nadia only whispered softly, "Please, let me stay with you. I don't want to lose you again."

"Yeah, but..."

Nadia sighed and said, "'Night, Jean."

Jean hesitated, then shut his eyes, too. "Good night, Nadia."

Nearby, Sanson and Hanson sat at the controls, nearly nodding off.

"It sounds like Jean and Nadia have a good chance of discovering true love, after all," Sanson commented.

"Yep," Hanson agreed, "And he didn't have to take your advice to heart either!"

"Watch it, Hanson!" Sanson snapped, "I am God's gift to women, and I could have found a way for Jean to express himself to Nadia if you didn't butt in so much."

"But you two didn't, did you?" Grandis glared at both of them.

Sanson and Hanson cringed. Were they going to get yelled at again?

Surprisingly, Grandis sat beside them, gazing out the window. "You know, I really miss Captain Nemo. If he were still alive, then..."

Sanson and Hanson groaned. Even after all this time, her mad infatuation for the captain was stronger than ever.

Ayerton tossed and turned on the floor beside them, "Will you keep it down? I'm trying to get some sleep!"

"Well, considering you kept us awake every night with your snoring, it serves you right!" Grandis shouted.

Ayerton moaned. "And to think I thought you were such a beautiful woman..." he muttered to himself.

Marie and King were pretty cozy as usual. They were both snuggled on the floor, fast asleep.

The _Gratan _continued through the night, the mountains of Africa looming closer and closer….

--TO BE CONTINUED--

_At this point, the story just continues onto Episode 35._

_-Jon T._


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